I will live today

I will live today – by P.K. Odendaal – December 2018

As if I needed to tell you that. But, that is not the only thing I wish to tell you.

Think back and think now. What are we doing?

Yes, I know we work, we eat and drink and we sleep - and some might find that exciting. We do not need to think anymore. Everything comes automatically, surely and monotonously. Everything goes according to clockwork. Our clock tells us what to do now. In fact, there is some intellectual competition going on between us and our clocks.

What and why do we fear - a poem

What and why do we fear – by P.K. Odendaal – December 2018

I have come to a place in my human disgrace
Where I have to decide what do I hide
One is fear you might have expected to hear
And to hide it for long one has to be strong.

But one or other time it comes out as a crime
And kills our dream until we scream.

Civilization

Civilization – by P.K. Odendaal – December 2018

 This is my third stab at the elusive concept of civilization, and I will keep on stabbing at it until I penetrate its hard skin and its soft belly. It is quite similar to the concept of families, of which it consists. Both concepts are untouchable, intangible, elusive and pervasive.

Suicide

Suicide – by P.K. Odendaal – December 2018

The conventional wisdom is that people who commit suicide are murderers and murderers do not go to heaven.

As a sceptic and cynic about conventional wisdom, I will naturally doubt that and ponder the opposite notion. I am not saying suicide is okay, but I must consider all its wider aspects. This article is not a license to kill.

Free Will is absolute

Free Will is absolute – by P.K. Odendaal – December 2018

I have so often heard the following expressions by well-meaning Christians:

·    God is in charge and we cannot do what we will.

·    He will only allow us to do what He thinks is right for us, or what He might allow us to do.

·    God is in charge and will never allow anything if it is contrary to His will.

All these are an infringement of our own rights, a negligent omission of our own responsibilities and an opportunity to blame God when something goes wrong or something happens which we do not like.

Make believe - a poem

Make believe - a poem by P.K. Odendaal _ December 2018.

We live in the land of Make Believe
And we try anything we can conceive
Not only for the sake of deception, but also for the sake of reception
For none we do will ever trouble you
And that is more than we budgeted for

I believe in dreams

I believe in dreams – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018

I have often seen my life in a dream
And I have often been distraught by the doubt it brought
But try as I may by night or by day
The dream has often helped me to soften
The pain that I suffer when times get tougher

I was never able from birth and the cradle
To trust in a dream or in things unseen
But somehow I was able to keep things stable
Just by thinking back on things which lack

and only seen in some guiding dream

Do not abuse me - a poem

Do not abuse me – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018

I cannot go on with a charade or a song
Pretending not to be the man inside me
I am not and never will be, a pawn to be moved without a decree
Until one day people might see that gentle persuasion is not for me

I am not here to please and endear
while I'm abused and defiled when things run wild
My commitment to life and my abhorrence of strife
Spreads more wide than trading a thought or taking a side.

The Beginning .. or the End ... Choose

The Beginning .. or the End … Choose - by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018.

There are mainly two types of people in this world. Those who build up and those who break down. Those who have faith in the future and the unbelievers for whom there is no future. Those who want to begin and those who want to end. And in between we have the fence sitters, of which I am a species - not at all endangered. In fact our numbers are increasing fast. Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen or unseen. In fact, just the notion of classifying us is vulgar and makes us shiver. I mean, what is wrong with barking with the dogs and howling with the wolves - it is so politically correct.

No room for gloom

No room for gloom – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018

There lived in the land of Id* some folks
Who thought that life was full of jokes
So they started out without any doubt
To make sure their fans were very poor

And showered upon them words and mayhem
To make them fear for the stories they hear
Knowing quite well that the stories they tell
Were lies and jokes to confuse most folks.

Wonder...ful

Wonder…ful – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018

As I sit here and ponder on the present and the yonder
I wonder how I came into this serious game
not looking for fame, nor looking for shame
And how life has a way of making us pay
For our sins and waste committed in haste
Or wealth and pleasure enjoyed at leisure

Conform or Reform

Conform or Reform – by P.K. Odendaal - November 2018

Everything we do in life is that we either want to conform to a situation or we want to reform a situation. We accept or we reject, we accommodate or we remain intransigent, we compromise or we contest, we concede or we deny.

This encompasses our whole life. Some of us are rebels and we question or reject what we do not believe in, and others stand for nothing and fall for everything. Be it in politics, in business, in relationships or in private life - we experience everything in these two frameworks, and we usually choose the wrong one.

After the dance

After the dance – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018

It is with the utmost respect that I now reflect
On what happened to our chance at the end of that dance
Like mist in the morn it disappeared at dawn
Never to return like the bridges we burn
For no other reason than the end of that season
When magic disappeared from the relationship we reared

I never thought ...

I never thought – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – November 2018

 

I have never thought I would reach this age

where I live in doubt of what life is about
Having reached stalemate in my business of late
Only to hope that my life has more scope.

Rock of Ages - a poem

Rock of Ages – by P.K. Odendaal – October 2018

You are no stranger to a palace or a manger
You know humiliation comes before the jubilation
You have often been heart broken and always outspoken
But never have you been to us a God unseen
and never have you left us when sin's dark wages bereft us

Divorce Part 7 - How do I feel

Divorce Part 7 - How do I feel – by P.K. Odendaal – October 2018

How do I feel at the end of this reel
Trying to cope with a heart that was broke
Not by taking a chance or unwelcome advance
but just in the way which caused much dismay
When me and my spouse each left the house
To find some form of relief from each other's grief

A satire on behaviour

A satire on behaviour – by P.K. Odendaal – August 2018.

It is said that a fool is born every minute and that you cannot protect a fool from himself or herself, so it seems that my desire to live and let live or to be considerate towards others and be considered by them, in turn or out of turn, is a wild goose chase in some utopia somewhere between here and nowhere.

Divorce – Part 6 - Reconciliation

Divorce – Reconciliation - Part 6 - by P.K. Odendaal August 2018

What shall I do with a marriage that's through
Shall love not prevail when us humans do fail
Shall we not learn from our past while our memories last
Or are they just the source which caused the divorce
Does our experience prevent us from pain when we try once again
Or will it stand in our way when we try to repay
Or try to forgive to let each one live

Divorce - Part 3 - Transformation - by P.K. Odendaal

Divorce – Part 3 - Transformation

How do I transform my life after decades of strife
While I was often abused and always misused
Not expecting it to disrupt my life so abrupt
When love turned to hate and sorry came too late

Divorce - Part 5 - Reflection - by P.K. Odendaal

Divorce – Part 5 – Reflection

How do you get free from bad company
and how do you break the bonds of mistake
How much does it cost for a life that is lost
How do you last from the abuse of the past

Divorce - Part 4 - Attacking the unarmed - by P.K. Odendaal

Divorce – Part 4 – Attacking the unarmed.

I thought you would not to pull my tail to no avail
But you went ahead and divorced me instead
Why you would pursue that which was not due
Still  blows my mind and leaves me blind
To see what dent you will make in the end
In my mind and my soul which is surely your goal

Divorce - Part 2 - Why did I go

Divorce - Part 2 - Why did I go

 

If I could turn back the clock in this moment of shock
Which caused me to make such big a mistake
I would be better off now as I am anyhow
And will not repent some stupid event
Which brought me hence to recompense
For some unknown fate which has of late
Deprived me of my peace wanting full release
To free my mind of things unkind

Divorce – a poem - Part 1 – Exorcise

Divorce – a poem - part 1 – Exorcise

I have written too much about marriage and too little about divorce, both of which is nowadays such an integral pastime of humanity. It will reach its apex soon when the number of marriages equals the number of divorces.

Being so intimately involved in both these pastimes, I have written a few poems on divorce with the realization that a divorce is much more than just receiving a piece of paper that your marriage has been dissolved – as if a divorce can be so cryptically or euphemistically described.

How did our love start

How did our love start? – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – September 2017

If I think of how we met, how can I then forget?

That it was both you and I who wanted to give it a try

Not that we thought it would bring us aught

Or that we had some notion it would stir an emotion

We just happened to gel before we could tell

What was the next step after we have met?

I asked you by the way if we could meet another day

To which you made known that you were also alone

An Ode to God - No. 1

An Ode to God – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – August 2016.

For a mere mortal like me, and a very ignorant one at that, I can make no other rational deduction than that God had created Himself. It is therefore with humility and wonder that I composed this Ode to God:

O, wondrous God, what happened on the instant you made yourself?

There were no mountains to tremble or thunders to rejoice,

There was no human or angel to bow before and adore you,

Yet the greatest miracle of all was born without a sigh.

An Ode to Life

An Ode to Life – a poem by P.K.Odendaal – April 2018

Soft, tell me how you find life's purpose and life's mind

Are you the one who says life's fruits are all a mess

Let me not hear that you heart is full of fear

Because you doubt what life is all about

You tell me that life is pain and only grief remain

That the good that you have done did benefit no one

And each time you tried to rejoice it was with a hollow voice

Yet all the suffering and shame was repeated again and again

Love is not love which alters ...

Love is not love which alters .. – a poem by P.K. Odendaal – April 2018

And so it came as a fright to my senses last night
That love is not free as I thought it to be 
Love is not love when we have to defend the feelings we have to pretend
And to know it is there in moments we care

To entertain a notion when we know that emotion
Is an impostor when such feelings we foster.
And should not drive our fate when our love turns to hate

If we say that we love when we are not so sure
Is more than our frail souls can endure

It is madness to treat madness

It is madness to treat madness – by P.K. Odendaal – March 2018.

I have been struck wise by three films which illustrated to me the fallacy of the treatment of patients by specialists in special institutions or facilities. The conventional wisdom, which, as we know, is always wrong is to do that, so we need to do the opposite.

The three films were:

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest

As good as it gets

Three Billboards.

All three are brilliant expositions of the treatment and therapy of such people inherent in social and communal activities.

Our fate in this place

Our fate in this place - a poem by P.K. Odendaal - March 2018

People end up in hate when they accept that their fate
Will keep them in shame for the rest of the game
In stead they may find a moment so kind.
To do as they should in the moment so good.

Not for their sake but in order to make
Mankind and earth a place full of mirth
For they then shall find that all will be kind
And they will never go back to their previous attack.