17 Jun 2011

Who shoves whom around ....

Who shoves whom around the dance floor - the idea of free will.

So we have this invitation to the dance, be it in the form of a marriage, a relationship, a compact with God to serve Him, as member of a sports or task team or just going on a trip with one or more people.
All these activities are interspersed with the dynamics of human interaction which leaves the door wide open for manipulation, domination and coercion to sway, rule or prevail, and we find ourselves often on the side of the oppressed if we are not offensive enough to let our way and our will prevail.

Afterwards we would say there is nothing like free will - it does not exist, because we cannot and will not (and should not) exert ourselves.
When I look at two dedicated and even trained dancers, I get no feeling of the one prevailing over the other or shoving the other party around - in fact - one gets the notion of a very special form of free will, cooperation, harmony and unity of form and function, that it becomes impossible to say who shoves whom around.

We start off by saying both parties are there by their own free will, looking forward to the excitement of a relationship - be it then only a dancing relationship, but one that is full of romance, excitement, respect, expectation, pleasure and satisfaction.
This metaphorical dance of us, like a real dance, has little to do with physical exercise - it has as its added benefits a strange new world of feeling and spiritual experience far beyond the needs or senses of the flesh and the carnal. In fact, the less one thinks about the physical experience, the more one experiences the emotional, psychological and spiritual effects, and this is exacly where I wish to move to on the level of relationships.

If we are only in the relationships for the physical satisfaction, one misses the whole object of the exercise, where almost imperceptible nuances of style, emotion, feeling, sight and sound takes us to new levels of experience and satisfication.

Although one might think that in a perfectly choreographed dance, there is no leading or direction giving , one makes the grave mistake of missing the cues of nuance previously mentioned. It is only when those nuances become imperceptible that one moves on to a feeling of peace, free will and enjoyment.
Why are we then shoved around the dance floor against our will whilst we await - so to speak - the music of the night. Why are we standing as wallflowers in some of our relationships, whilst our partner is off filling his glass with some other elixir.
We need to stay on the dance floor and concentrate on the music, in this case the wonderful melody of life itself.

It is only when free will comes to complete surrender, that it means something for us and/or our partner. Peace can only come when you surrender - from Sunset Boulevard
Let us then surrender ourselves in this relationship - if we think it worthwhile, so that we can taste the fruits of it on other levels.

And, what if we are the ones who shove someone around this dance floor? Shame on us, because we have not learnt the basic tenet of free will, love and understanding. With our role of leading man/lady in this dance, comes the responsibility to maximise the enjoyment of our partner and not of ourselves, because our own enjoyment is really seated in the fullness of the enjoyment of our partner, similar to the situaiton where we cannot alone enjoy beauty - we need someone to enjoy it with us. Let us then be even more sensitive to our actions and keep it to the toned down nuances resting in a touch or a look.