What a joy
- by P.K. Odendaal - September 2019
It is with joy that I jump like a boy
having dodged that bullet before
she could pull it
Please do not abuse me when the
muse wants to use me As I yearn to be free while you're gunning for me
This is not why I gave this a try
So please show respect and do not
reject
The things which I do of which
you've no clue
And give me some space to find my
own place
To live my own dream without
being obscene.
The time which we had turned out to be bad
As the one whose to blame when things came to shame
Without judge or jury I was condemned with fury
claiming I was cheating and lying
whilst she was bitching and crying
She was born to make a tea cup storm
or sing a song without admitting she's wrong
But her soul was too light to support such a fight.
Telling me the same lies when I looked into her eyes
and she spying at large to lay a new charge
Whilst she was the one who was having some fun
With her ex one day when I was away
And dating other men until meeting again
Knowing full well it was infidel.
Well I have news for all your abuse
Stay away from a fray if you have nothing to say
All I asked on the night when you decided to fight
Was to find out if you knew it was a game for two
But there was no reply and she let the chance go by
as if she did not care much for the way that we touch
because in this drill I was just there for the bill.
Well I have news for all your abuse
Stay away from a fray if you have nothing to say
All I asked on the night when you decided to fight
Was to find out if you knew it was a game for two
But there was no reply and she let the chance go by
as if she did not care much for the way that we touch
because in this drill I was just there for the bill.
Whilst to paying she was quite averse
With a scorpion in her purse.
Not sparing my feeling when she was reeling
from nothing I've done and to no one
But such were the ways I had to face
For towing the line and staying benign
All I got from this fife was shame and strife
So enough I've had of things good and bad
and care not more for a thing I abhor
As she cast me away on a wild ballet
All this occurred without me speaking a word
As the ranting went on from dusk to dawn
It must have been a delight for her to engage in the fight
unopposed and free to speak her mind and decree
that I should rather go away farther
than she could see or wanted to be
I was cast out of this roundabout
which was all about you and the things which you do
which for me was taboo in this rendezvous
Trying as I might to get things right,
Until I've had a fright of what might delight this hypocrite
Goodbye and good riddance for giving a pittance
For me and my time in times not sublime
I was yearning for things which happiness brings
But all I could reach was some time on the beach
In the end she couldn't bring depth to this thing
Trying to beguile with things quite facile
Leaving me to yearn to a time for my turn
to add some delight in stead of a fight
which never arose however I chose.
There's a definite block on most of my stock
As I sometimes must hide all of my pride
And that was the case which prevented my ace
From speaking my mind when she got so unkind.
She once said at tea there's lots of fish in the sea,
as anyone would note if they were on a boat
So snuggle up to one for having some fun
And tempt someone previous by being devious
Goodbye and good luck whilst you run amuck
For me you'll not see at a Christmas tree
Or anywhere near when you wedding bells hear.
That is not my game and I find it a shame
Not to consider your heart which must now fake the part
To make you feel good like some drifting wood
I have no regret and will always respect
The choice that you make as your own mistake
I rest my case and return to grace
Which I missed so much under your watch
Le Envoy
And so it came as a fright to my senses one night
That love is not free as I thought it to be
Love is not love if we have to defend
The way we might feel when we have to relent
Or know it is there in moments we care
Never trust a notion as we know that emotion
is an imposter which such feelings foster
And will cause our fate when love turns to hate
To say that we love when we are not so sure
Is more than our frail souls can endure
It is just a ruse for all forms of abuse
If we say that we care whenever we share
Our thoughts and our mind when love is so blind
As for me it is clear that it will not endear
the trust of a lover who may one day discover
that love is not free what love wants to be
and love may not fend if we always pretend
that it is forever with ties which can't sever.
To say that we love will always come back
and bite us each time we think it sublime
It caused me much pain when I could not refrain
from expressing my care in a moment we share
and I could not afford the abuse that I scored
just for the sake of that stupid mistake.
So I say fare thee well to this unwelcome spell
Which hurts me each time when I touch the sublime
I will not be part to this kind of false heart
Which snatches my joy in some kind of ploy
To treat me less kind than my own frame of mind.
It is better to flee from this fleshly decree
that states that our lover must never discover
some flaw in our mind which makes us unkind
to see we'll never be free from the fruit of that tree
that enslaves us for ever in our earnest endeavour
to be true to our calling and keep us from falling
In the hands of our lover without shield or cover.
To say that we care for the feelings we share
Is to trust an emotion which is only a potion
And only finds trust in a state of disgust
It is up to you to prove me untrue
And not to dismiss our hours of bliss
With some kind of notion that destroys our devotion
and makes us loose the path which we choose
To know what we feel is to make us reveal
The state of our mind in times we are blind
To make us reflect on our own disrespect
For the pain of a season in a moment of treason.
So, be not unkind in the moments you find
When you differ in view and you know its not true
Or suffer the row which you kindled somehow
When you started a tryst which was found to exist Only in your brain to cause you some pain.
In the end you will see if with me you'll agree
To say that you love as I mentioned above
is a licence to scold all views that you hold
And turn on you loose all types of abuse
Love is not love which alters when it falters
At least Shakespeare and we on this do agree
But why did he not tell us in short and in plain
Where we could find the other love strain.
The search for that strain will drive us insane
If only we could find a love of this kind.
Not sparing my feeling when she was reeling
from nothing I've done and to no one
But such were the ways I had to face
For towing the line and staying benign
All I got from this fife was shame and strife
So enough I've had of things good and bad
and care not more for a thing I abhor
As she cast me away on a wild ballet
All this occurred without me speaking a word
As the ranting went on from dusk to dawn
It must have been a delight for her to engage in the fight
unopposed and free to speak her mind and decree
that I should rather go away farther
than she could see or wanted to be
I was cast out of this roundabout
which was all about you and the things which you do
which for me was taboo in this rendezvous
Trying as I might to get things right,
Until I've had a fright of what might delight this hypocrite
Goodbye and good riddance for giving a pittance
For me and my time in times not sublime
I was yearning for things which happiness brings
But all I could reach was some time on the beach
In the end she couldn't bring depth to this thing
Trying to beguile with things quite facile
Leaving me to yearn to a time for my turn
to add some delight in stead of a fight
which never arose however I chose.
There's a definite block on most of my stock
As I sometimes must hide all of my pride
And that was the case which prevented my ace
From speaking my mind when she got so unkind.
She once said at tea there's lots of fish in the sea,
as anyone would note if they were on a boat
So snuggle up to one for having some fun
And tempt someone previous by being devious
Goodbye and good luck whilst you run amuck
For me you'll not see at a Christmas tree
Or anywhere near when you wedding bells hear.
Or raising your voice whilst you rejoice
I am just a human with desires and pride
Who tried under duress to stay at your side
Still, I wonder why, you gave this a try
Just to kill our chance to ever advance
To something with meaning without you screaming
For things I do without asking you
As you cared less for me than the bark on a tree
Sacrificing me for the ghosts that you see
Conjuring up fears from some bygone years
When you ran wild by someone beguiled
Inflicting some pain in the root of your brain
Just to kill our chance to ever advance
To something with meaning without you screaming
For things I do without asking you
As you cared less for me than the bark on a tree
Sacrificing me for the ghosts that you see
Conjuring up fears from some bygone years
When you ran wild by someone beguiled
Inflicting some pain in the root of your brain
Everyone knows, as the saying goes
that you will be heard without raising your voice
... and that empty cans make the most noise
I didn't want to be like the five men before me
Hung out to dry while wondering why
I have to fall at your feet to take the back seat
That is not my game and I find it a shame
Not to consider your heart which must now fake the part
To make you feel good like some drifting wood
I have no regret and will always respect
The choice that you make as your own mistake
I rest my case and return to grace
Which I missed so much under your watch
That love is not free as I thought it to be
Love is not love if we have to defend
The way we might feel when we have to relent
Or know it is there in moments we care
Never trust a notion as we know that emotion
is an imposter which such feelings foster
And will cause our fate when love turns to hate
To say that we love when we are not so sure
Is more than our frail souls can endure
It is just a ruse for all forms of abuse
If we say that we care whenever we share
Our thoughts and our mind when love is so blind
As for me it is clear that it will not endear
the trust of a lover who may one day discover
that love is not free what love wants to be
and love may not fend if we always pretend
that it is forever with ties which can't sever.
To say that we love will always come back
and bite us each time we think it sublime
It caused me much pain when I could not refrain
from expressing my care in a moment we share
and I could not afford the abuse that I scored
just for the sake of that stupid mistake.
So I say fare thee well to this unwelcome spell
Which hurts me each time when I touch the sublime
I will not be part to this kind of false heart
Which snatches my joy in some kind of ploy
To treat me less kind than my own frame of mind.
It is better to flee from this fleshly decree
that states that our lover must never discover
some flaw in our mind which makes us unkind
to see we'll never be free from the fruit of that tree
that enslaves us for ever in our earnest endeavour
to be true to our calling and keep us from falling
In the hands of our lover without shield or cover.
To say that we care for the feelings we share
Is to trust an emotion which is only a potion
And only finds trust in a state of disgust
It is up to you to prove me untrue
And not to dismiss our hours of bliss
With some kind of notion that destroys our devotion
and makes us loose the path which we choose
To know what we feel is to make us reveal
The state of our mind in times we are blind
To make us reflect on our own disrespect
For the pain of a season in a moment of treason.
So, be not unkind in the moments you find
When you differ in view and you know its not true
Or suffer the row which you kindled somehow
When you started a tryst which was found to exist
In the end you will see if with me you'll agree
To say that you love as I mentioned above
is a licence to scold all views that you hold
And turn on you loose all types of abuse
Love is not love which alters when it falters
At least Shakespeare and we on this do agree
But why did he not tell us in short and in plain
Where we could find the other love strain.
The search for that strain will drive us insane
If only we could find a love of this kind.
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