What a joy - a poem


What a joy - by P.K. Odendaal - September 2019

It is with joy that I jump like a boy
having missed that bullet before she could pull it
Please do not abuse me when the muse wants to use me
As I yearn to be free while you're gunning for me

This is not why I gave this a try
So please show respect and do not reject
The things which I do of which you've no clue
And give me some space to find my own place
To live my own dream without being obscene.

The time which we had turned out to be bad
When things did not go right as we thought that they might
And too long I have lingered whilst I was fingered
As the one whose to blame when things came to shame

Without judge or jury I was condemned with fury

claiming I was cheating and lying 
whilst she was bitching and crying
As if she was born to make a tea cup storm
or singing a song without admitting she's wrong
But her soul was too light to support such a fight.

Telling me the same lies when I looked in her eyes

and spying at large to lay a new charge
Whilst she was the one who was having some fun
With her ex one day when I was away
And dating three men until meeting again

Well I have news for all your abuse

Stay away from a fray when you have nothing to say
All I asked on the night when you decided to fight
Was to find out if you know what inspires your beau
and check if you knew 'tis a game for two

But there was no reply and you let the chance go by

as if you did not care much for the way that we touch
because in this drill I was just there for the bill.

Not sparing my feeling when she was reeling

from nothing I've done and to no one
But such were the ways I had to face
For towing the line and staying benign

All I got from this fife was shame and strife
So enough I've had of things good and bad
and care not more for a thing I abhor
As she cast me away on a wild ballet

All this occurred without me speaking a word

As the ranting went on from dusk to dawn
It must have been a delight for her to engage in the fight
unopposed and free to speak her mind and decree
that I should rather go away farther
than she could see or wanted to be

I was cast out of this roundabout

which was all about you and the things which you do
which for me was taboo in this rendezvous
Trying as I might to get things right, 
Until I've had a fright of what might delight this hypocrite

Goodbye and good riddance for giving a pittance

For me and my time in times not sublime
I was yearning for things which happiness brings
But all I could reach was some time on the beach

In the end she couldn't bring depth to this thing

Trying to beguile with things quite facile
Leaving me to yearn to a time for my turn

to add some delight in stead of a fight
which never arose however I chose.

There's a definite block on most of my stock

As I sometimes must hide all of my pride
And that was the case which prevented my ace
From speaking my mind when she got so unkind.

She once said at tea there's lots of fish in the sea,

as anyone would note if they were on a boat
So snuggle up to one for having some fun
And tempt someone previous by being devious

Goodbye and good luck whilst you run amuck

For me you'll not see at a Christmas tree
Or anywhere near when you wedding bells hear.

That is not my game and I find it a shame

Not to consider your heart which must now fake the part
To make you feel good like some drifting wood

I have no regret and will always respect

The choice that you make as your own mistake
I rest my case and return to grace
Which I missed so much under your watch

 

 

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