What a joy - a poem

What a joy - by P.K. Odendaal - September 2019

It is with joy that I jump like a boy
To have missed that bullet before she could pull it
Please do not abuse me when the muse wants to use me
As I yearn to be free when you're gunning for me

This is not why I gave this a try
So please show respect and do not reject
The things which I do of which you've no clue
And give me some space to find my own place
To live my own dream without being obscene.

The time which we had was supposed to be glad
When things did go right as we thought that they might
But too long I have lingered while I was fingered
As the one who'se to blame when one was to shame

Said I was cheating and lying 
whils't she was bitching and crying
Telling those lies before my eyes
and spying at large to lay a new charge

Not sparing my feeling when she was reeling
About nothing I've done to anyone
And such were the ways I had to face
For towing the line and staying benign

All I got from this fife was shame, stress and strife

So enough I've had of things good and bad
And do not care much for the way that we touch
When I was cast away during a wild ballet

Goodbye and good riddance for giving a pittance
For me and my time in times not sublime
Just waiting for things which happiness brings
And all we could reach was some time on the beach

In the end you couldn't bring depth to this thing
Trying to beguile with things quite facile
Leaving me to yearn to a time for my turn

Which never arose whenever I chose
To add some delight in stead of a fight.

There's a definite block on most of my stock
As I sometimes must hide all of my pride
And that was the case which prevented my ace
From speaking my mind with things quite unkind.

Goodbye and good luck while running amuck
For me you'll not see at a Christmas tree
Or anywhere near when you wedding bells hear.

She said at tea there's lots of fish in the sea
as anyone can teach who was on the beach
So snuggle up to one for having some fun
And tempt your previous by being devious

That is not my game and I find it a shame
Not to consider your heart which must now fake the part
To make you feel good like drifting wood

I have no regret and will always respect
The choice that you make as your own mistake
I rest my case and return to grace
Which I missed so much under your watch.

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