What we say defines who and what we are.

What we say defines who and what we are - by P.K. Odendaal - November 2019.

We are the most conceited species still alive, although, considering our desire for self and mutual destruction, we should have been extinct long ago ... but the time is not ripe yet.
I wish to ask a question as framed in Job:

Should a wise man utter vain knowledge, and fill his belly with the east wind?　
Should he reason with unprofitable talk? or with speeches wherewith he can do no good? Yea, thou castest off fear, and restrainest prayer before God. For thy mouth uttereth thine iniquity, and thou choosest the tongue of the crafty. Thine own mouth condemneth thee, and not I: yea, thine own lips testify against thee.　

We are the only species which kills our own kind in massive numbers. We are the most dangerous animals on earth. Just give us a good chance and happy hour and we will finish each other off in no time.
The only group of people we are more venomous on than our far distant neighbours are our friends and family, business associates and competitors.
Why we will let anybody live is a mystery to me.
It comes from millenia past. When somebody injured us back then, we took revenge seven times seventy fold, until God one day said: That is enough - only ONE eye for an eye.
Even so we will sneak in an extra arm or leg.
No, I am not a pessimist. The biggest optimist will give me my due. I mean, one atomic bomb will not do. A thousand which may even blow up the sun is much better.
And it all starts between you and me, and even worse, between lovers. Fifty percent of all murders happen between lovers or spouses. That is all you need to know about marriage, matrimony or intimiacy. Love and love rejected kills.
Today I take issue with our words and I may be the biggest culprit in that. We say things about people which kill their character, self image, hopes and dignity - and the nearer they are to us, the more unpalatable we make it.
We really think that we can injure them, put them in their place, set the record straight, take revenge, offload our hatred and frustration and many other idiosyncracies.
It just does not work that way.
We all know that age old story of pointing fingers, and we know that if we point a finger at someone, three other fingers are pointing back at us.
Similarly, what we say to others, good or bad, will reverberate and ricochet back at us with compound interest - and what is more - at the most embarassing moment.
What we offload on someone else verbally does not define what he or she is. It defines what we are. It defines the jealousy, hypocrisy, inferiority complex, disdain and lack of self-respect we have for ourself and which we harbour inside us, like old garbage gone stale.
Next time we are again so quick to air our 'valued' opinion, let us think whether it is kind, whether it is true, whether it is necessary and whether it may hurt.
Remember that if we build a fence between ourself and our neighbour, it can never fence our neighbour out. It can only fence us in.
Remember what goes around, comes around. Remember that we are never 'entitled' to throw the first stone ... or even the last one.
We all live in glass houses and it behoves us to act like kind and passionate human beings to all and sundry. In the process we will spread that kindness to ourself