If I only had time - a poem

If I only had time - a poem by P.K. Odendaal - Nov 2019.

You may see me now as I rush and row 
which doesn't have much of a final touch
As I arrive too late at some entrance gate
For something quite vague like escaping the plague

And running the rat race without leaving a trace
Of where I have been and whom I have seen
Finding out too late that it was my fate
For rushing and rolling while others were strolling

But then my mood change and I do something strange
When I let my emotion decline to a more pensive line
When I find some time to do something sublime
To regain my composure and find some closure
Of things which went wrong while I composed a song
Of greed and desire which ended in fire
No only for my sake but for others to make
Some sense of this game without any shame

But in the end it transpired that the emotions were hired
To make us feel good in our neighbourhood
Not realizing that in the end it would not make amend
For what we thought was a joke we could not revoke

If I only had time to do things sublime
Think of the grace I could always embrace
In stead of the pain which will always remain
Which cloud our souls and upset our goals
Of a life without grief and disbelief
And a life of doubt I can do without

If I only had time to change the paradigm
Of hurry and haste which all went to waste
In stead of calming down to consider the crown
Which waits for me up yonder to covet and ponder
Without tears and regret Iest I forget

If I only had time for one more hill to climb
To explore at leisure one more treasure
Which I missed in my way when I went astray
Following some fame to cover my shame
To start from the ground and do something profound