Divorce – Part 1 – Exorcise - by P.K. Odendaal – June 2018

Divorce – Part 1 – Exorcise

I have written too much about marriage and too little about divorce, both of which is nowadays such an integral pastime of humanity. It will reach its apex soon when the number of marriages equals the number of divorces.
Being so intimately involved in both these pastimes, I have written a few poems on divorce with the realization that a divorce is much more than just receiving a piece of paper that your marriage has been dissolved – as if a divorce can be so cryptically or euphemistically described.
 A marriage is such an intertwining or interlocking activity of the physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and social part of our whole being. If such a process proceeds normally the two entities in a marriage becomes one, and a break up of that merger is really an exorcism and not a divorce.
I have thus decided to write a philosophical preamble to these poems, reminding you that we do not have to do here with a certificate of divorce issued by an authority, but more specifically an exorcism of someone from your whole being, similar to how evil spirits are driven from human bodies. On a more humouristic note I might add that it is indeed sometimes an evil spirit which we should be trying to get rid of in such a divorce and my comparison is not too far-fetched.
The emotions which goes through one’s mind, body and soul varies widely and changes widely as time goes by – going from joy to sadness to revenge to murder to elation and other such common or trivial and sometimes joyous activities.
In these poems you may experience all these emotions and see how they play musical chairs in your mind.

So here is Part 1:

I have come to the end of my abusive stipend
and chose that suffering give way for any amount I could pay
because forty eight years of abuse and of tears
Was the most I could take for my stupid mistake

By marrying a spouse for the sake of a house
was indeed the worst way my life could go stray
and free me at last from the bonds of the past

It is with joy that I walk away from all talk
of bondage and shame at the end of this game
To find some new peace when hostilities cease
And enjoy the new freedom in this lonely season
Where I don't have to listen and my eyes again glisten
Having put down the burden for an enormous guerdon

At the end of the day I could never stay
in a relationship sad which has slowly gone bad
For no reason at all it was mostly a brawl
And for reasons unkind which have now slipped my mind
I stopped all chances of making advances
Of a marriage gone sour at the eleventh hour
And for abuse aimed at me just for being not free
To do what I should for the sake of our food
And remain quite askance in the sight of her glance
Which made clear to my mind that the glance was unkind

Not knowing the reason why I was accused of such treason
Never knowing which way the next hour might sway
Never caring too much for the loss of her touch
Always knowing that I was the pig in the sty
That was accused of some crime for most of the time
Always hiding away from the fight of the day
And too afraid to be hounded when tensions abounded

So in the end it’s just me who was destined to be
Alone in this time for a trivial crime
Never allowed to forget what made her upset
And never be allowed to disappear like cloud
And much less permitted to have her outwitted

Even so it’s my place in this state of disgrace
to pay for mistakes which anybody makes
when you land in that state when you lose trust in your mate
and get killed in your soul when you're not out on parole

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