17 Jul 2022

The Pursuit of Happiness - Part 1 – Goodbye Convention and Compromise

Foreword.

Happiness is within our grasp. I know that, as I am the happiest person in the universe, I think, and I have not even explored half of the possibilities of these seven principles yet. I also know some people around me who feel exactly the same, probably without even realizing what the principles of happiness are. But I also know that the majority of people around me are unhappy, frustrated and miserable.

This is a series of seven articles on the pursuit of happiness which will make your life abundantly happy, and as an added benefit, also abundantly free.

There are no rules for happiness and I am sceptical when someone publishes a book with so many rules to live by. If you really like to live by rules, give up your free will totally and live by those rules or by the counsel of others, which will make your life totally miserable.

In these articles I will navigate you through the complexities of life, by giving you basic and firm stepping stones to step on through the path of life.

The path of life can be likened to an ocean which can drown you, which may hurt you by flinging you against the rocks, and which may sometimes tear your life apart.

If you do not believe me, look at the television crime channels where lovers and spouses kill each other for almost nothing other than for making the wrong choices in their pursuit of happiness.

There was a time at the turn of the nineteenth to the twentieth century, up to the start of WW1, when the Pursuit of Happiness was the lifestyle and main activity of people in Europe, until the war ripped that apart when one shot rang out in Sarajevo. It takes one emotional shot in our lives to turn it upside down and start a war in our emotions.

 

Part 1 – Goodbye Convention and Compromise

Do not take life-changing advice from anyone. Decide what suits you best and what you care about. Other people do not care about the same things you do. 

I do not say that you must shun the 'wise' counsel of others. They will be affronted if you do not follow the 'good' advice they give you, while their lives are in tatters.

It may even be prudent for you to solicit as much advice from as many people as you can; from friends and family or whoever. The more people you ask for advice the better choice you will make.

Let us say you have received advice from about twenty people and you have made a proper list of all these. Now you know what not to choose, as all that advice is useless, because ninety percent of that is driven by convention and compromise. The problem is that you do not know which of those are not tainted. The few which you receive from people who are non-conventional, like freaks or artists, are of no use.

So, now you are free to decide on any of the remaining options, not tainted by convention and compromise.  

If we look at our lives, we will see that it is full of convention and compromise, mostly to please someone else, to prevent conflict, to be the nice guy, to give someone the benefit of the doubt, or not to affront or upset someone or the apple cart. This is the stuff grief and regret are made of.

We were born free and with free will, and we seldom use it. Compromise limits our free will and our choices which would have steered us towards happiness, as a compromise is never as good as our conscience or our care.

A compromise flowing from many proposals, ideas, precedents or moral grounds, is the worst of any of those it compromises. All the ideas which led to the compromise are better, on their own, as the compromise.

Convention and compromise degenerate our free will, our quality of life and our future. It makes a lesser person of ourselves. The people who complain that they do not have free will are those who have compromised their lives beyond redemption or rehabilitation and who shift the blame to determinism - a word used by atheists and agnostics to absolve them from any responsibility.

The process of choice is so well explained by the French philosopher Jean Paul Sartré. Those not interested in the details of his philosophy may skip the italicized section. This exttract is from ‘Socrates to Sartré’ by T.Z. Lavine (my comments are in parenthesis):

Sartré says that my freedom as a conscious being enters my own existence. Conscious is totally free, undetermined, and thus spontaneous. Since I am totally free, my past does not determine what I am now. Between myself and my past I have put a gap, nothingness. I am free from my past.

This new situation requires that I make a new choice, a choice that is totally free, and wholly unpredictable as to its consequences.

Every time I am confronted by whatever temptation, I discover that I am free, that yesterday’s resolutions do not determine what I do now when I must choose again now. Will I or will I not stick to my resolution not to drink, take drugs, smoke or overeat? This is freedom of conscious being which we all painfully discover.

Just as my past does not determine what I am now, so what I am now does not determine my future. Since I am totally free, my future actions are not determined by my choice to become for example a writer. What I will actually do at a future moment of uncertainty about my writing career will be a totally free action on my part, a new choice, and wholly unpredictable.

And so I begin to understand what it is to be totally free and I experience this as anguish. I feel anguish in discovering that my freedom destroys and nihilates the determining force of my past decisions and of my pledge for the future.    

Sartré argues that my contingent circumstances, or facts of my life, may be biologically, psychologically, socially and economically determined, but as a conscious being. I choose the meaning they have for me.

As a free, active consciousness, I transform this contingent circumstances by my choice of meanings and possibilities, by my projects, into my situation. By situation Sartré means an organization of the world of my own making; the world as it is for me, by the meaning I choose to give to the facts of my life and by the projects I choose for my future. I cannot then say the conditions under which I have lived have made me so.  

And so, in fierce opposition to the view that the facts of the world make a man an alcoholic or drug addict, Sartré argues that an alcoholic lives in a world of his own making, by the meaning he has chosen to give to his life and by choosing to live it as an alcoholic.

Sartré also discloses that there is an even greater depth to my freedom as conscious being. I have discovered that, as a totally free conscious being, I alone am responsible for the meaning of the situation in which I live; I alone give meaning to my world.

But, what meaning shall I give to my world? From what sources can I draw meaning? I raise such questions, not when I am engaged in accomplishing the seemingly useful routine of daily activities, but when I reflect upon my activities. Then I see that there is no source of absolute truth which I can longer turn to, to provide meaning for my life.

(I do not agree with Sartré herein, that I now have lost all moral, rational or spiritual bases for my choices and that I am now morally bankrupt, now that I have chosen to be free or shunned convention and compromise. This aspect is considered in much detail in a later part of this heptalogy)

What has Sartré done? He has flung me from freedom to anguish. I am indeed free, but my freedom is a dreadful freedom. I alone choose and I alone am responsible for everything I am, I do or I think, but I did not choose to be free. As conscious being I am condemned to be free.

But if we seek to escape, as we all do, from freedom and responsibility, Sartré calls that bad faith. Bad faith is an attempt to escape from my freedom by pretending that human affairs are unavoidable or necessary, as is the casual order of things. We flee from dread, but bad faith is self-deception; it is a lie we tell to ourselves; it is a lie in the soul. We are not casually necessitated things; we are totally free conscious beings, but endlessly we escape from this painful truth about ourselves by many forms of bad faith. (Winston Churchill once said: Sometimes we stumble over the truth and then we hurry on as if nothing happened)

To illustrate this Sartré takes the example of a waiter in a café:

His movements are a little too precise, too rapid, he bends forward a little too eagerly, he is a little too solicitous for the customer’s order. He has escaped from his freedom as a conscious being into acting a part, playing a social role, as if his essence is to be this perfect mechanism, the perfect waiter. But he is in bad faith. He has no essence; it is not his essence to be a waiter. He has consciously chosen to be a waiter. But he cannot be a waiter any more than an inkwell is an inkwell. He has escaped from his freedom as a person into becoming a mechanism from which he will gain social approval for the perfection of the performance of his role. This type of bad faith consists in the pretense of being identified with a role. (We are all waiters in a certain sense, each of us playing a different role on this stage we call life – at least the majority of us. In fact, the baroque period was known as a time when the Catholic church used the world as a stage to play its opulent and grandiose plays on.)

Sartré also claims that bad faith and inauthenticity involve us in alienation. To live in the self-deception of bad faith, to live in the inauthenticity of being untrue to human conscious being, is to live in alienation of oneself, to be estranged from one’s freedom as conscious being and to regard oneself as a thing compelled by circumstance.

Sartré makes a devastating use of “the spirit of seriousness” to attack all those human types who accept the ordinary conventional morality of their own time as if this morality were an eternal, absolute and necessary truth of the universe. The truth of the matter is that their conventional morality is temporal, relative and contingent – it is morality linked to a particular time, it is relative to their own type of society, and it is the contingent outcome rather than the necessary outcome of a variety of social and historical circumstances. If they had found themselves in another type of society, their “absolute” moral truths would have been different.

Suppose then that we do not wish to live like filthy swine, wallowing in the sticky mud of conventional morality, suppose we wish to avoid bad faith, inauthenticity, self-alienation, the spirit of seriousness - what then is morally right action which does not fall into any of these traps?

We are acting morally when we abandon all self-deception and make our moral choice with the recognition that we are free conscious beings in choosing and responsible for what we choose.

What shall we choose? What values guide us in our actions? On the basis of what principles, what ideals, what norms or standards do we choose? (I will also address this in a later part)

My advice here is that you only choose what you care for; what you are passionate about and that should not be money, fame, drugs or other such delectable things.

In such cases where we think we have to make a decision or vote on a matter relating to something which I do not care about, we should join the band of fence-sitters in a domain which is called the middle ground. Do not make a choice if you do not have to or abstain from voting. If you do choose or vote in these circumstances, you will taint your integrity, being also blamed for voting for something which produced chaos. 

Fence-sitting can be such a joy, advantage and excuse. I have written about it in this article which you might want to read:

https://pkodendaal.blogspot.com/2014/04/covering-middle-ground-rehashed.html

You also might want to read my article on meaning here:

https://pkodendaal.blogspot.com/2012/07/philosophy-part-12-giving-meaning-to-it.html

 

In Part 2, I will address 'The joy of forgiving and forgetting'.

 

1 comment:

  1. Enjoyed reading this and looking forward to part 2!

    ReplyDelete