Reception, Deception and Rejection

Father’s day 2015 and self-destruction – by P.K.Odendaal – June 2015.

For Father’s day 2015

Go ask the rolling river (a living thing)
Why it flows in ceaseless motion (from where it originated in the mountain)
To the all-absorbing ocean, (its grave)
Finding there the final goal. (its death)
It will say, I’m driven onward
By a force beyond control. (gravity)
From The Elixir of Love by Donizetti

The cause of rejection in ourselves is mainly from a mistaken identity. We have not identified or found ourselves or our place in this world, or we have not fashioned our identity at youth to someone we admire and respect, mainly for not having such a person on our radar, and the effects of this is devastating in our lives.

What is more, our rejection is very well manifested as soon as we have success or victory, and then we start to self-destruct. There are many examples in history of which Hitler and many celebrities are excellent examples. They follow the ‘force beyond control’ as stated above and then gravitate towards disaster.

The desire for acceptance, the opposite of rejection, is a driving force that keeps many people from being an authentic human being. They are so driven by the need for acceptance of others that they lose their own identity in the process. They mimic the ways in which others act, dress, talk, think, believe, and function. Acceptance is the underlying process in the power of peer pressure and is what causes young people and older people alike to fixate on pop-culture, counter culture, punk, new wave, preppie, yuppie, and other styles. They crave recognition and acceptance from the reference group with whom they want to be identified. 

People who operate out of a fear of rejection often display little or no assertiveness, they do not speak up and let others know how they feel about something, especially if their opinions differ. They lack the courage to function differently from others, even when they don't enjoy the behaviour in which they are involved. They will often keep their personal feelings hidden from others and too often from themselves. 

For too many people the fear of rejection and the desire for acceptance are the main motivating forces for all actions in their lives. It plays a part in their choices concerning their education, career direction, work behaviour, achievement level, interpersonal and marital relationships, family and community life, and the ways in which they spend leisure time. The person who operates out of a fear of rejection all too often ends up pushing away the very friends, family, and helpers who care the most. The pulling away of these caring ones appears to be rejection, and the vicious cycle goes on with negative results.

From Psychologist – Anywhere, anytime.

Our real purpose and therapy lies in self-development.

Rejection wounds us deeply because it attacks the very person that we are. It destroys our self-esteem, and attacks who we are and our purpose in life. This is why it is one of the most common tools the devil will use to destroy a person's life. God never wanted us to feel rejected or abandoned. He desires for us to know who we really are, how deeply He loves, accepts, and appreciates us, so that we can live out the fullness of what He has ordained us to be.

Many people feel that they have no purpose in life, no talents or value. This is patently wrong, misleading and self-destructive. The fact is that each of us has at least hundreds of talents - mostly undeveloped or underdeveloped.

To realize our full potential and work towards self-acceptance, we may follow the good advice of Og Mandino in his book: The Greatest Salesman in the World:

• Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
• I will form good habits and become their slave.
• I will greet this day with love in my heart.
• I will persist until I succeed.
• I will increase my knowledge of the world.
• I will live this day as if it is my last.
• Today I will be master of my emotions.
• I will laugh at the world.
• Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.
• I will act now.
   
  However, many of us are instead waiting for that Elixir of Love (Life) and wait in vain as the words of Dulcamara, the quack in The Elixir of Love, invites us to do:
  To further my philanthropy,
  I travel night and day.
  So come and buy, come buy from me
  A bargain, by the way. Why even mention pay?
   
  This hearty booster made for you
  When silver age approaches
  Not only offers aid for you,
  But kills off rats and roaches.
   
  The claim corroborated,
  Confirmed and validated;
  I pass around the document
  For each and all to see.
   
  This bottle offers benefit;
  By tasting now and then of it
  A man well in his eighties,
  Who'd given up on ladies,
   
  Soon is the proud progenitor
  Of a dozen on his knee,
  And stronger than a stevedore
  Of twenty two or three.
   
  And here's a soothing syrup
  Designed to brace and cheer up;
  Decrepit widows sipping it
  Go skipping off with glee.
   
  You women, spry though elderly
  Whose playful eye yet twinkles,
  With my exclusive recipe
  Erase unwanted wrinkles.
   
  You gorgeous girls, I daresay,
  Would salvage your complexion.
  You lads would hear the fair say
  You suit me to perfection.
   
  Come, purchase youth and beauty
  For the pittance that you pay.
  Today is bargain day.
   
  You owe yourself a duty,
  A ticket of admittance
  To eternal youth and beauty
  For the pittance that you pay.
   
  So overcome your malady,
  Improve your personality,
  Combat unkind reality,
  Rejuvenate, reinvigorate …
   
  When down with laryngitis,
  Hepatitis Or Saint Vitus,
  Not to mention hypertension,
  Here's the bottle that you need.
   
  Perhaps you have a tendency
  To alcohol dependency,
  Your waist is getting bigger,
  You have lost your vim and vigour;
   
  Work and play are going poorly
  And you're balding prematurely;
  The need is urgent surely
  For a friend to intercede.
   
  So purchase, purchase, one and all!
  You toddlers from the nursery,
  You codgers facing surgery,
  You can't afford delay.
   
  Oh, yes!  A bargain, by the way.
  You barely have to pay.
  On the road I've weathered crisis,
  Seldom resting, often walking.
   
  You are asking what the price is?
  How much money are we talking?
  A hundred lire?  No!
  Thirty?  No!  Twenty? …
   
  Now do not be offended,
  But you've made my stay so pleasant
  With the welcome you've extended
  That I wish to make a present —
  To you each a crown for free!
   
  And this is why we are so quick to charge to the local mall or shop to buy something from that vanity fair to soothe our appetite for something we are not in ourselves.